Tony's Take: Give Credit Where Credit is Due

Let me make this clear on the outset: I loathe the electric car. I hate everything about them and their retarded brother’s known as hybrid drive vehicles. I have never been able to wrap my head around why environmentalists love those stupid things so much when there are two very apparent facts. 1: Electric cars pull their power from the grid meaning they do have emissions (how many people I have yelled that fact at very red faced) 2: They have less range than a professional bicyclist meaning the electric car is less useful than a contraption you can buy at Wal-Mart for $50. Finally with the stupid little hybrid they are beaten by the fact they get the same gas mileage as a diesel car and they lose their ability to charge relatively quickly rendering them worthless within the decade.

Now here is where I must give my credit. I learned about the Fisker. It uses the same principle as a Diesel locomotive in that the combustion engine on board is used only as a generator of electricity for the electric motor. I must say: this is Genius. You can actually claim very low emissions with this method a generator uses very little fuel to charge the batteries. On top of that the Fisker can accelerate pretty quickly (unfortunately lacking a high top speed). Other than the fact it panders to the very environmentalists I want to beat the hell out of, I have no complaints about it.

Unfortunately, I must break my own rule of “be consistent” because I am reminded the Chevrolet Volt uses the same technology, and I HATE the Chevy Volt. Now to be honest it does have to do with more factors other than the fact that it has looks only a mother could love, and it is slower than my obese dog. Now the major problems start to arise Most importantly Chevrolet is a subsidiary of Government…I mean…General Motors, a company that received at Multi-Billion Dollar Bailout, has just posted a massive profit for the year and is yet to give me, or any other American our $158.24 each. Now they are making a car no one wants and happened to shove advertisements on during the super bowl (thus wasting more of my $158.24 I am owed). At least they had the decency to sneak in the phrase “It is what America had to build.”

But then Again… Fisker also received a loan from the Federal Government towards their Green initiative. The Initiative funded other companies like Solyndra who is currently under investigation for Fraud after they closed shop almost immediately after receiving their loan (and never paying it back). This reminds me why I hate these Eco companies who try to shove a product on the market no one wants. At least I can regain my consistency by saying until I am paid my $159.93 (GM and Fisker’s Money Combined) back, there is nothing to like about these cars.

I must reiterate though: the technological idea is still awesome despite the fact I do not know if I can ever give up my internal combustion powered car.

But that is just my take…

Tony's Take: Be Consistent

We have all heard the line “consistency is key.” Whether it is in sports when you are talking about a basketball player’s free throw percentage, or a referee’s ability to ignore the Aaron Rogers rules of football (if you don’t know what I am talking about just know if you poke Aaron Rogers it is a penalty). It could also be the politician who is against gay marriage while being secretly gay himself, or the Billionaire calling for higher taxes for the rich while being accused of dodging taxes himself, or If I knew anything about the entertainment industry I bet I could find an example there as well. There is also another definition of consistency: when it is your job to enforce a rule, actually making punishments that do not break the rule itself.

Of course, this is when I bring the story. In Hoke County North Carolina a United States Department of Agriculture representative (agent? Enforcer? I have no idea what to call them) went to a local school to inspect the lunches of pre-school students and decide if they abide by USDA guidelines for a healthy meal. Needless to say, none of the packed lunches were deemed to be healthy. Ignoring how I feel about a government bureaucrat with no accountability to the voting public being allowed to make guidelines on how we feed our children there is one massive problem with the situation. The lunch given to the children to replace their “unhealthy” meals were chicken nuggets.

Even with that information this already seems ridiculous. Under whose definition is a chicken nugget, chicken covered in bread crumbs, then FRIED IN OIL healthy? Now to make matters worse let me tell you the meal given to the child by her mother: “…a turkey and cheese sandwich, a banana, apple juice and potato chips…” along with the explanation that the mother did not include vegetables because the daughter will not eat them without the mother watching, and does not want to waste money on food… seems legit to me.

This is ridiculous, now along with the unhealthy main course of this pre-schooler’s lunch; she is now being told it is healthier than a TURKEY SANDWICH. Oh Timmy the firecrackers are too dangerous, here blow up this pipe-bomb instead. I know I am exaggerating, but that is literally the line of reasoning you have to go through to think the same thing this agent thought. This is where I remind us of a need for consistency. If the child was given a salad without dressing and some lawn clippings, I would only have the political foot to stand on here (which can be debated of course), but with this you cannot tell me chicken nuggets are healthier than a turkey sandwich.

But that is just my take…

Tony's Take: Be Bold

One of the most interesting phenomenons I come across while reading the news daily is the insane amounts of people who just flat out do not give a shit. Growing up there were things we are taught that you simply do not do, and yet, every day I am reading stories about people like Matthew Moore.

Matthew Moore is a 35 year old man with 44 license suspensions, who was pulled over for driving 83mph in a 55mph zone. I say this because after the first license suspension, if I had to drive I would make sure I obey every possible letter of the law to prevent myself from being pulled over. This guy did stupid shit another 43 times, then decided he was going to blow past a cop 28mph over the speed limit. What that says to me, is either he is illiterate (and shouldn’t have passed the written portion of the driving test) or! He really wants to go to jail. I’ll let you decide on that one.

But he was just a criminal right? Those among us that actually care about not going to jail and thus meeting bubba would take some care right? Enter John C. Hughes of Butte (It is pronounced Byut, seriously guys) Montana. Like many of us Hughes has a bucket list. While many people have things like swim with dolphins, go on a polar expedition, Hughes has something a little different on his. He wanted to get into a high speed police chance. Leading police in a chase that broke speeds of over 100mph Hughes was living the dream…Until he was stopped with stop sticks and reminded that you do go to jail for that. He now faces misdemeanor (less than one year sentence) charges for reckless driving while eluding police. For further proof that he does not care, he was not drunk or under the influence of anything but his own insanity.

Finally a man in England decided he was going to run away from the police when they pulled him over for driving without a seatbelt. Understandably the police chase him down under assumption he has something to hide (which is completely understandable in my opinion). Then when they managed to stop him again he locked himself in his car and refused to come out, resulting in the cop breaking the passenger side window open. Now that just sounds like a plain idiot, where can I say “he just does not care”? When you find out later he sued the police! Apparently because he was only going to be fined for the seatbelt (nothing illicit about him or the car except for having a license plate that does not fit regulations) and because he claims to suffer from post traumatic stress disorder afterwards he was awarded a little over $30,000 in an out of court settlement.

So why do I bring these stories up? Number one: because no matter what it is about, if it is motor vehicle related I am interested. Number two: because it teaches us all a very important lesson. Frankly, I did not know it was even possible to be walking the streets (let alone driving on them) after having your license suspended 44 times, or you can play high speed chase and have a chance to walk, or even get $30,000 out of the experience. In fact, if it was possible to do more than once (which I am sure I will be proven it can), I could see people doing that as part of padding their yearly income. The moral of this story is simple, if you go out into the world; bring with you the biggest pair of balls possible.

But that is just my take…

Tony's Take: It is just common sense...

Hello everyone, Tony here. I have been planning on making a little weekly write-up for the Goo-Dee-Bag for some time, and now that our hosting website has been down for most of the week I figured there is no time better than now. So, expect to see at least something small from me in the upcoming weeks (though probably not on Thursdays).

While working today, I happened to count no less than fifteen separate traffic stops, I guess it must be quota time again. One stop happened to catch my eye though. During what was definitely a routine stop I noticed the officer take the driver out of the car. Then shortly after the cop takes the man’s jacket and pulls out a small green box, with that you knew he was screwed. Handcuffs on, things got serious. It made me ask myself though, how was he caught? I mean seriously, why would you carry narcotics in your jacket pocket while driving?

To be frank, I am not going to the corner bodega and picking up a kilo of coke, so I have no real world experience in this field, but it still seems like it would be common sense to put the drugs elsewhere (like say in that space behind your glove-box). It made me ask the question “why is it people involved in the drug trade get caught doing the most stupid things possible?” Just last week there was a grow house in the Bronx that was busted because it was consuming the same amount of power as an entire city block. Once again, I am not a grower, but seriously, how do you not understand that it is a huge tell when your grow house is consuming that much power? Do you really think the power company doesn’t check?

I know it is not the entire industry either. A couple episodes back we talked about the cocaine hidden in a fake diplomatic pouch. That idea is absolute Genius, and yet for every story I read about that there are twenty about a grow house being busted because either the smell was overpowering, or they were consuming too much power. So here is my common sense advice to the average grower ¹: Instead of using city power, use a generator, nobody will question it running 24/7 because presumably your professional grow house does not have cable or phone, and everyone will just assume you are a survivalist.

But that is just my take…

1: The Goo-Dee-Bag does not in any way endorse or recommend becoming a drug dealer/grower/user, only to use common sense